Vermont's Same Sex Marriage Law

It has happened. Vermont's Same Sex Marriage Law has gone into effect today. Yeah! And in honor of this and their committment to Social Justice Issues, Ben and Jerry's partnered with Freedom to Marry and renamed the Chubby Hubby ice cream, Hubby Hubby. This is only happening for the month of September and only in their Vermont stores. So, all you Vermonters, go to Ben and Jerry's have a scoop of Hubby, Hubby and thank them for their committment to Social Justice. Anyone who cannot get to Vermont, please go here and leave them a comment. Thanks.

We Belong

I know it has been a while since I posted and I apologize. I have been a little sad and disheartened by the mess the NYS Senate has caused in my home state and have not been able to write. But, when I saw this on my facebook I had to post it. My wife's cousin, Emily, (I guess she is my cousin now too, heehee) posted it. I applaud Emily for her courage and conviction to post this. I applaud her generation, because I know they will make the changes this country needs. I saw them at Equality and Justice Day in NY. Not even old enough to vote, yet there they were talking to the Senators, holding signs at the rally, holding hands and showing their love. Amazing. Watch the video below. I warn you though, have tissues handy. I cried. A lot. Hearing one of the boys' father talk about his own hatred and abuse of gays and his eventual acceptance and love of his gay son, pulled at my heart. The song in the video is sung and written by transgendered artist, Namoli Brennett. Amazing as well.

LGBT Family

I am posting this blog for Mombian's "Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009."

My wife Leah and I have not started a family yet. But, we plan to someday. What I want to write about here is my other LGBT family. That is all the people who are LGBT and straight who have supported, shown up and been there in my life. They include some of my immediate and extended family members, some old friends and some new ones. These are the people who help me keep going especially when my marriage was at stake by 7 judges in California. This family has shaped my openness, my ability to take a stand against injustice and my compassion and empathy. I love my family and am a better person because of them. Just today, my wife and I attended a press conference for Marriage Equality for NY. Senator Tom Duane, the sponsor of the bill, held it. Who would have thought I could be this involved in the politics, the media, the outness that comes with a press conference. It is because of the support I receive from my family that I am able to do these things. So, I want to say Thank you to my family. You are my rock.

And to my wife, Leah you are my love, my inspiration, my heart and my being. I love you always.

My Marriage

Tomorrow the California Supreme Court decides if my marriage is legal or not. Tomorrow they decide if Prop 8 is overturned or not. Tomorrow my life as a wife could change. It is disheartening to know that at 1pm (eastern time) I could not be married anymore. Tomorrow at 1pm, 17,999 other couples could not be married anymore. It is so sad that people feel it is their right to take away my happiness. They argue that they aren't against me, they are just upholding what is tradition, what is right. Tradition used to be to own a slave, own a woman, put mentally ill, developmentally disabled and disabled in an institution. Traditions change because we realize that they are not right. I don't know what the Supreme Court is going to decide tomorrow. The experts are saying they will not overturn Prop 8 but will uphold all the marriages that happened before Prop 8, including mine and the 17,999 others. But, what does that mean. Am I to celebrate because I am still married, am still a wife. Am I to be angry and protest because they ruled to uphold an amendment that to me seems so unconstitutional. What am I to do?

I guess I will know better tomorrow after I hear the decision. My wife, Leah, and I will be at the Albany, NY Day of Decision. If you are in the Capital District area, join us for celebration and/or protest. If not, check the Day of Decision website for an event near you. They are holding them all over the country and Canada as well. Here's hoping it will be celebration.

Go Maine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Official Statement from Governor John E. Baldacci's office:

Governor Signs LD 1020, An Act to End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom. Signed on this day, May 6, 2009.

AUGUSTA – Governor John E. Baldacci today signed into law LD 1020, An Act to End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom.
“I have followed closely the debate on this issue. I have listened to both sides, as they have presented their arguments during the public hearing and on the floor of the Maine Senate and the House of Representatives. I have read many of the notes and letters sent to my office, and I have weighed my decision carefully,” Governor Baldacci said. “I did not come to this decision lightly or in haste.”
“I appreciate the tone brought to this debate by both sides of the issue,” Governor Baldacci said. “This is an emotional issue that touches deeply many of our most important ideals and traditions. There are good, earnest and honest people on both sides of the question.”
“In the past, I opposed gay marriage while supporting the idea of civil unions,” Governor Baldacci said. “I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law, and that a civil union is not equal to civil marriage.”
“Article I in the Maine Constitution states that ‘no person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law, nor be denied the equal protection of the laws, nor be denied the enjoyment of that person’s civil rights or be discriminated against.’”
“This new law does not force any religion to recognize a marriage that falls outside of its beliefs. It does not require the church to perform any ceremony with which it disagrees. Instead, it reaffirms the separation of Church and State,” Governor Baldacci said.
“It guarantees that Maine citizens will be treated equally under Maine’s civil marriage laws, and that is the responsibility of government.”
“Even as I sign this important legislation into law, I recognize that this may not be the final word,” Governor Baldacci said. “Just as the Maine Constitution demands that all people are treated equally under the law, it also guarantees that the ultimate political power in the State belongs to the people.”
“While the good and just people of Maine may determine this issue, my responsibility is to uphold the Constitution and do, as best as possible, what is right. I believe that signing this legislation is the right thing to do,” Governor Baldacci said.

I absolutely love his reasoning. I love that he listened to both sides and came down on the side of equality. I love that he said that "it reaffirms the separation of Church and State." Thank you Governor Baldacci.

Kelly McGillis is a lesbian!!!!

Okay, this is not news to the millions of lesbians out there. Yes, Kelly, we all knew. We were just waiting. And now, she has officially come out to vlogger, Jennifer Corday, at shewired. And, btw, she is still as hot as she was back in the '80's! Check it out:



I, as a young, newly out, lesbian, fell in lust with her when I first saw her breasts in Witness. Then as the hot, tough teacher in Top Gun. Damn! I had heard the rumors back then. I had hoped, dreamed and waited. Then she appears in the L-Word. Well, that is all it took. Good for you girl. Welcome to the family. Now, join us in our fight for LGBT equality.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordful Wednesday

Go Hillary Duff! I knew I liked her.

Wordful Wednesday

I am stepping away from Wordless Wednesday because I have some things to say today. Today is considered Tax Day. Everywhere around the US, people are going to their respective Post Offices to mail their taxes. Some because they owe and wanted to wait until the last minute to pay and others because they forgot to do them earlier. My wife, Leah, and I finished our taxes last month. Unfortunately, we could not file together as married, even though NYS recognizes our marriage. See, there is this little glitch with the Federal income taxes. It's called DOMA. Oh, and the little glitch with NYS income taxes, it's tied to the federal taxes.

So, to get to the picture. Around the US today, hundreds, probably thousands, of same-sex marriage supporters will be protesting at their local Post Offices for fair treatment. It's called "Equal Taxes, Equal Rights." Well, unfortunately, the one that was going to happen in Albany, NY was canceled because of lack of participation. Don't get me started on this. I am angry because we had hundreds of people show up for our demonstration against the passage of Prop 8 (which wasn't even our state, mind you) and yet we couldn't get enough people to sign up for this. I guess people need to be angry to join together. Bull, people. It's not about getting together once to protest an atrocity, it's about fighting the fight continuously until it is changed. I digress, sorry.

So, the picture. I decided to protest myself at the Saratoga Springs Post Office, during my lunch hour. I thought long and hard and felt I had to do this. How can I ask others to fight for me, to vote for same sex marriage, if I am not willing to get out there and fight myself. Now, you can ask anyone who knows me. I am not one to start and lead something. I am more of a follower. Give me something to do and I will do it. Ask me to lead or implement it and I run for the hills. This took a lot for me to do. I drove to the Post Office and sat in my car holding my signs. It was a beautiful day out, very sunny in the spot I would stand and yet I sat. I was scared. What would happen. Would people yell at me, throw things, call me names. Would the police ask me to move. I had to will myself out of the car. I had to tell myself, some people may say things, but others may be moved by the experience. Some may even praise me and give a thumbs up. And the police can't ask me to leave, it's a public space. So, out of the car I went. I stood at the corner of a very busy intersection and stood for an hour with my signs.

It was an amazing experience. No one yelled at me, cursed me, threw things. Although, some parents with children steered them clear of me, even while the child was asking, "what does his sign say, Mommy?" hahahahaha. Try explaining that one, Mom. What I did get was a lot of smiles, way to go's, I'm with you, honks in support and thumbs up. It was awesome. Most of the praises and support came from the young teenage community. It was great.

So, what did I take from this experience. I found that yes, I can lead, maybe not a group of people, but myself anyway. I found that one person can make a protest and a difference. I found that I have courage, conviction and strength. I also found hope. Hope in the next generation. I believe that our youth are going to make great changes. They are taking up the fight. They are couragous. They are fighting to have LGBT groups like GSA and GLSEN in their schools. They are fighting the bullies. They are at the protests. They are campaigning for political candidates even though they aren't old enough to vote. I plan to keep on fighting, keep on protesting, keep on lobbying my legislators. Not just for me, but for the next generation. Fight with me. Make changes. Make a difference.

Wordless Wednesday

Marriage Equality in Vermont and Iowa

Today is a glorious day! On the heels of Iowa making same-sex marriage legal, the Vermont legislature voted to override a veto by Governor Douglas and passed their same-sex marriage bill. How cool is that. As a New Yorker though I am a bit ashamed. I always thought that NY was a bit ahead of the curve for gay rights. I mean we had Stonewall, right. Now, we sit behind Iowa, WTF. Well, I don't want to bitch on this glorious day. I just want to revel in the news. Oh, and hot off the presses, DC Council voted today to recognize same sex marriages from other states. Woo, hoo.

Here is an interesting take on the amendment process from the Iowa Senate Majority Leader, Michael Gronstal.

Iowa’s Senate Majority Leader has said he will not consider any proposals to begin the process to amend Iowa's constitution to overturn the same-sex marriage decision. "The politics of it are I'm not going to put discrimination in the Iowa Constitution," he said. "That's a horrible idea. The people who are pushing the amendment are saying equal protection under the law -- except. I think that's unacceptable."

Now, why can't California see this. You can't have equal protection under the law with an exception. How is that equal. That makes no sense. Here's hoping that California does the right thing and repels Prop 8 and uphold all 18,000 same-sex marriages. And, oh, as an aside, can we maybe stop calling them same-sex marriages. A marriage is a marriage, right? Isn't that what we are fighting for......hmmmmmm. And here is a picture of a happy marriage:

Wordless Wednesday (sort of)

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Fostering Kittens

Recently Leah and I sent off our last litter of kittens, Moo, Flower, Silver, Tiger and Buzz were all adopted within a week and found their forever homes. I have to say fostering kittens is tough. Not because there are so many cats in the house but because it is hard to let them go. Leah was away in California when they had to go to the clinic for adoption, so I had to do it alone. As I brought them in, a little boy and his mother were standing there to pick out one of the kittens for him to take home. OMG, I was crying as he patiently held each one to see which would fit best. He ended up picking Flower and naming her Polly. It was very hard to leave the rest there as well. We still have Bella, the mom cat. She will be going to clinic later this week. Here is a picture of them. Bella is in the back, Silver is curled up behind her, Flower is the all grey on the left, Tiger is looking at the camera, Moo is next to Tiger and Buzz is on the end.

So now we are kitten free. No more yelling to get off the table or out of the garbage. Just an aside, don't put discarded tissues in the bathroom garbage if you have kittens running around. In the morning you will find it shredded all over the house. Ah, loving the freedom when we get a call. Jan, from Animal Lovers asking if we will take a litter of 2 day old kittens with mom.

"What, no, we can't, we just got rid of a litter, what, they are how old, aaawwww they are calico, mom is long haired calico, they are stuck at a shelter, mom is stuck in a cage with all other animals nearby trying to raise her babies, oh, we can't have that, of course we will take them."

So, off Brenda goes on Friday to pick up the mom and the babies. And yes they are cute. And they are very tiny, fitting in one hand. Mom is beautiful too. We get to name them as well. Yeah. Jan wants us to name them all with the same beginning letter to make it easier for them to identify Mom and babies. So, we decided to name Mom, Molly. She looks like a Molly. The kittens are too young to tell their genders so they don't have real names just yet. We do know, however, that the calico kitten is female because male calicos don't survive. We also know that the orange kitten is probably male as most cats that color are. We have not named the calico, but have been calling the orange one manderine (manny if it is a boy, mandy if a girl, heehee.) Leah has been calling one of the black and white ones, Michael Jackson, after his Black and White song, heehee. Here is a picture of all of them.

Aren't they adorable? So now we are a household of 8 again. Bella will be going to the clinic on Thursday, so we will be down to 7. Fostering kittens is tough but I love it.

Wordless Wednesday

In the style of Tina and my wife, I give you:

The Missing White Ribbons at the Oscars

I find it very sad that Hollywood had a chance to stand up for equal rights and they failed terribly. I ask them why? Was it that hard to put on a white ribbon. You all proudly wore the red AIDS ribbon when needed.

I find it apalling that Hollywood, some of these actors were in commercials supporting gay marriages, did not see it fit to continue expressing their support at a huge media event that would be seen by many. Where is the support that they could be giving. Jack Black, where was your ribbon? Were you not one of the actors in the Prop 8 Musical? WTF!!!!!!! I can't believe that these actors are still scared to stand up for what's right for fear of being too close to anything gay.

And to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, where were your ribbons? You both have stood up and said you won't get married until everyone can get married. You gave money to the no on 8 campaign and asked hollywood to stand up and do the same. So, I ask you, where were your ribbons? Shame on you, both.

I do applaud Josh Brolin and Gus Van Sant. Although Josh didn't win (did he even stand a chance against Heath,) he was wearing the white ribbon. Thank you, Josh. Gus didn't win either but, thank you for wearing a ribbon. Someone else associated with the Harvey Milk movie, I believe he was the producer, was wearing a ribbon. Thank you.

During his acceptance speech, "Milk" writer, Dustin Lance Black ,offered an impassioned tribute to Milk, the pioneering gay-rights politician who was slain 30 years ago. He also wore a ribbon.
"If Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he would want me to say to all the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told they are less than by the churches, by the government, by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value, and that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you and that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights, federally, across this great nation of ours," Black said. Thank you, Dustin.

Although Sean Penn did not wear a ribbon, he did do us justice in his acceptance speech for Best Actor. He called the Academy "Commie, homo-loving son of a guns," He talked about all the hate filled signs that he and others had to drive by on their way to the awards and told all those who oppose gay marriage and voted yes on the ban, they will have to deal with that shame. Thank you, Sean.

Below is the videos of both Sean's and Dustin's acceptance speeches. Enjoy.

Weekends at the Aunties

This past Christmas, Leah and I gave our niece, Krystianna, and our nephew, Thomas, the greatest present ever......a weekend with us. What could be better, right? The whole weekend with the coolest Aunts ever. First up was Krystianna. I picked her up on a Friday evening and as soon as we got to our place......Rockband!!!!!!!! Oh, yeah!!!!! We rocked the house. Krystianna on drums, Leah on guitar and me on vocals. We unlocked them all by weekend's end.

I know, she doesn't look like she is having fun, but, she is really concentrating. Check out those slippers. We played until midnight. Ssshhh, don't tell her Mom, heehee. The next day, after waking up at 11am, we set off for a fun day at the Winterfest. Can you believe these crazies, jumping into sub zero water. And they paid to do it. For charity, of course.

After the Winterfest, we went home had a late lunch and off to the Women's RPI Ice Hockey game. The RPI Women did not win but it was a great game. Krystianna even got a puck from the game.

After the game, back home for dinner. We made pizza. Yummy.

A great weekend was had by all. Oh, and check out the background. That's Leah in my lovely Victoria Secret Country bathrobe. She loves it.

Next up was Thomas. His weekend was Valentine's weekend. I know, not the way to spend our first Valentine's Day as wives, but Leah and I were never too big on Valentine's Day anyway.

I picked Thomas up on Friday and it was to the Playstation we went. He is not big on the music games. He is more into car racing games and a game called Monster Bash, which I hate. Of course, it is the one he wants to play the most. I guess I really don't like it because he knows how to manuever his monster better than I do, so he kicks my ass every time. He also, hides things from me, like how to use my super power and what all those damn colored dots stand for. I sometimes do use my super power (merely by accident from pushing every damn button) but, then can't remember what button I pushed. I don't have any pictures of us playing mostly because I was cursing the controller the whole time. Thomas is an early riser so he went to bed much earlier than Krystianna.

Up at 6am, Thomas went downstairs by himself and played games until about 9am when he came upstairs to wake us. "Aunt Brenda, Aunt Leah (both of them asked if it was okay to call her Aunt Leah, so cute) when are you getting up." So, up we got. It was games all day until dinner time. That's right, making pizzas.

Then it was off to the Men's RPI Ice Hockey game. The game was sponsored by Bank of America and was called Big Red Freakout. They gave out free t-shirts, so cool. We had seats all the way up but, it wasn't too bad as we could see it all. The men didn't win but, we saw a couple of fights break out. Thomas liked when someone got put in the penalty box. Another great time.Back home and another hour of games and time for bed. In the morning, we played some more games of Monster Bash. Oh yeah, he always gets to play the same monster and doesn't let me be that one, ever. I'm not bitter though, really, hahahaha. Then Thomas and I went to my sister's house for a Daytona 500 party. Thomas is a big fan of NASCAR. Dale Earnhart, Jr. being his favorite. A great time was had there, as well.

Not all was lost for my bride and me for Valentine's Day. Leah, surprised me (not an easy feat) by sending 2 dozen roses to my workplace with a beautiful note. I gave her a beautiful card and a Hallmark christmas ornament of hoops and yoyo. Love those guys.

Valentine's Day Love

Today I celebrate love on this Valentine's Day. Below is the picture of my wife, Leah, when we got to kiss (finally) as beloved wives.

Wedding dress and suit....over $1000, wedding ceremony and reception....ask the 'rents, Getting married to the woman of my dreams......priceless.

Happy Valentine's Day, baby. I love you!

Many Colors, Feedom To Marry Week

Ah, so today's theme is something blue. My something blue for our wedding was an embroidered monogram made by my wife, Leah. Leah's blue was a beautiful pin that my sister gave her.


That was pretty much the only blue at our wedding. Our wedding was very colorful. Lots of orange, green, pinks but not much blue.



See, lots of colors including blue. I loved that we used so many colors. Leah and I wanted to celebrate our love, but, we also wanted to celebrate our fun side. This was the way to do this.

As an aside, Leah and I participated in the Freedom To Marry Day in Albany, NY. We rallied for Marriage Equality in NY. It was a small gathering, northeast wind and cold kept people away, but it was a great rally. I even kissed Leah while the news cameras were taping. Click here to see video. I am not sure how long it will be available, but enjoy while you can.