Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Missing White Ribbons at the Oscars

I find it very sad that Hollywood had a chance to stand up for equal rights and they failed terribly. I ask them why? Was it that hard to put on a white ribbon. You all proudly wore the red AIDS ribbon when needed.

I find it apalling that Hollywood, some of these actors were in commercials supporting gay marriages, did not see it fit to continue expressing their support at a huge media event that would be seen by many. Where is the support that they could be giving. Jack Black, where was your ribbon? Were you not one of the actors in the Prop 8 Musical? WTF!!!!!!! I can't believe that these actors are still scared to stand up for what's right for fear of being too close to anything gay.

And to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, where were your ribbons? You both have stood up and said you won't get married until everyone can get married. You gave money to the no on 8 campaign and asked hollywood to stand up and do the same. So, I ask you, where were your ribbons? Shame on you, both.

I do applaud Josh Brolin and Gus Van Sant. Although Josh didn't win (did he even stand a chance against Heath,) he was wearing the white ribbon. Thank you, Josh. Gus didn't win either but, thank you for wearing a ribbon. Someone else associated with the Harvey Milk movie, I believe he was the producer, was wearing a ribbon. Thank you.

During his acceptance speech, "Milk" writer, Dustin Lance Black ,offered an impassioned tribute to Milk, the pioneering gay-rights politician who was slain 30 years ago. He also wore a ribbon.
"If Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he would want me to say to all the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told they are less than by the churches, by the government, by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value, and that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you and that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights, federally, across this great nation of ours," Black said. Thank you, Dustin.

Although Sean Penn did not wear a ribbon, he did do us justice in his acceptance speech for Best Actor. He called the Academy "Commie, homo-loving son of a guns," He talked about all the hate filled signs that he and others had to drive by on their way to the awards and told all those who oppose gay marriage and voted yes on the ban, they will have to deal with that shame. Thank you, Sean.

Below is the videos of both Sean's and Dustin's acceptance speeches. Enjoy.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Weekends at the Aunties

This past Christmas, Leah and I gave our niece, Krystianna, and our nephew, Thomas, the greatest present ever......a weekend with us. What could be better, right? The whole weekend with the coolest Aunts ever. First up was Krystianna. I picked her up on a Friday evening and as soon as we got to our place......Rockband!!!!!!!! Oh, yeah!!!!! We rocked the house. Krystianna on drums, Leah on guitar and me on vocals. We unlocked them all by weekend's end.

I know, she doesn't look like she is having fun, but, she is really concentrating. Check out those slippers. We played until midnight. Ssshhh, don't tell her Mom, heehee. The next day, after waking up at 11am, we set off for a fun day at the Winterfest. Can you believe these crazies, jumping into sub zero water. And they paid to do it. For charity, of course.

After the Winterfest, we went home had a late lunch and off to the Women's RPI Ice Hockey game. The RPI Women did not win but it was a great game. Krystianna even got a puck from the game.

After the game, back home for dinner. We made pizza. Yummy.

A great weekend was had by all. Oh, and check out the background. That's Leah in my lovely Victoria Secret Country bathrobe. She loves it.

Next up was Thomas. His weekend was Valentine's weekend. I know, not the way to spend our first Valentine's Day as wives, but Leah and I were never too big on Valentine's Day anyway.

I picked Thomas up on Friday and it was to the Playstation we went. He is not big on the music games. He is more into car racing games and a game called Monster Bash, which I hate. Of course, it is the one he wants to play the most. I guess I really don't like it because he knows how to manuever his monster better than I do, so he kicks my ass every time. He also, hides things from me, like how to use my super power and what all those damn colored dots stand for. I sometimes do use my super power (merely by accident from pushing every damn button) but, then can't remember what button I pushed. I don't have any pictures of us playing mostly because I was cursing the controller the whole time. Thomas is an early riser so he went to bed much earlier than Krystianna.

Up at 6am, Thomas went downstairs by himself and played games until about 9am when he came upstairs to wake us. "Aunt Brenda, Aunt Leah (both of them asked if it was okay to call her Aunt Leah, so cute) when are you getting up." So, up we got. It was games all day until dinner time. That's right, making pizzas.

Then it was off to the Men's RPI Ice Hockey game. The game was sponsored by Bank of America and was called Big Red Freakout. They gave out free t-shirts, so cool. We had seats all the way up but, it wasn't too bad as we could see it all. The men didn't win but, we saw a couple of fights break out. Thomas liked when someone got put in the penalty box. Another great time.Back home and another hour of games and time for bed. In the morning, we played some more games of Monster Bash. Oh yeah, he always gets to play the same monster and doesn't let me be that one, ever. I'm not bitter though, really, hahahaha. Then Thomas and I went to my sister's house for a Daytona 500 party. Thomas is a big fan of NASCAR. Dale Earnhart, Jr. being his favorite. A great time was had there, as well.

Not all was lost for my bride and me for Valentine's Day. Leah, surprised me (not an easy feat) by sending 2 dozen roses to my workplace with a beautiful note. I gave her a beautiful card and a Hallmark christmas ornament of hoops and yoyo. Love those guys.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day Love

Today I celebrate love on this Valentine's Day. Below is the picture of my wife, Leah, when we got to kiss (finally) as beloved wives.

Wedding dress and suit....over $1000, wedding ceremony and reception....ask the 'rents, Getting married to the woman of my dreams......priceless.

Happy Valentine's Day, baby. I love you!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Many Colors, Feedom To Marry Week

Ah, so today's theme is something blue. My something blue for our wedding was an embroidered monogram made by my wife, Leah. Leah's blue was a beautiful pin that my sister gave her.

That was pretty much the only blue at our wedding. Our wedding was very colorful. Lots of orange, green, pinks but not much blue.

See, lots of colors including blue. I loved that we used so many colors. Leah and I wanted to celebrate our love, but, we also wanted to celebrate our fun side. This was the way to do this.

As an aside, Leah and I participated in the Freedom To Marry Day in Albany, NY. We rallied for Marriage Equality in NY. It was a small gathering, northeast wind and cold kept people away, but it was a great rally. I even kissed Leah while the news cameras were taping. Click here to see video. I am not sure how long it will be available, but enjoy while you can.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Borrowed Quotes (Freedom to Marry Week)

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Freedom to Marry Week continues. Get more information here.

Today's theme, Something Borrowed. When I was contemplating what to blog about today, my wife, Leah, suggested that I use a borrowed quote. I, being me, of course said, "that's not interesting." Well, here I sit trying to think of something and all that is stuck in my head is borrowed quotes. Damn her, heehee. Okay, honey, here is my blog utilizing borrowed quotes.

So, I am going to borrow a few quotes from a Civil Rights leader and lesbian icon herself (although she would have never thought of herself as either), Eleanor Roosevelt.

These are ones I send out to my fellow LGBT protesters.

  • Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway.

  • Have convictions. Be friendly. Stick to your beliefs as they stick to theirs. Work as hard as they do.

  • It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.

  • It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it.

  • Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn't have the power to say yes.

  • No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

  • The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

  • We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.

  • Understanding is a two-way street.

  • Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

These quotes are for those who spread hatred under the guise of Religion.

  • Hate and force cannot be in just a part of the world without having an effect on the rest of it.

  • Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

  • Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.

  • Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

  • Understanding is a two-way street.

  • When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?

These quotes are for the politicians.

  • What you don't do can be a destructive force.

  • Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up in our politics and say definite things which mean something, or whether we shall always go on using generalities to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.

  • Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.

  • It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it.

  • Hate and force cannot be in just a part of the world without having an effect on the rest of it.

  • Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility.

These quotes are for my parents.

  • The giving of love is an education in itself.

  • What you don't do can be a destructive force.
This quote is for me.

  • I have spent many years of my life in opposition, and I rather like the role.

As you can see, many quotes are used a few times. It is because, I feel, all sides can use them. I hope all who read this think about these quotes and try to understand their meaning for them. There are far too many for me to take and give my thoughts behind them. I will, however, discuss my quote and what it means to me. My thoughts behind this quote go along the lines of what some people at the protests, rallies and the like continually like to use as a tool for equality. "We are just like you, we are normal, everyday people, just like you." Well, to tell you the truth, I am not like you. I am not normal, like you. I am me and I don't want to be like you. Life in general would be pretty boring if we were all like each other. I know, some people argue that we need to do this, say this, to relate, etc. You know what, I don't need to relate, they need to know me as I am, not how they want to cookie cutter me in to something that will make it more comfortable for them. So, there, I said my peace on this. I feel better.

I am going to leave you with one more Eleanor quote. It is not directed at anyone but I think it is hilarious and shows Eleanor as a whole, sexually charged person. Enjoy.

  • I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Newly Married (Freedom to Marry Week)

Freedom to Marry Week continues and the theme today is, Something New. Well, going with the something old post, my sisters found a beautiful tie tack for my wedding. I got my wife to be a beautiful diamond necklace that I found at JC Penney. Unfortunately, do you think I could find a close up picture of either.....of course not! So, just believe me when I say they are both very beautiful.

Something new.....oh, I know. My wife surprised me yesterday. She is so sweet. I was called to the front desk at work and was handed a long package. Yup, that's right. My wife sent me flowers. She is so amazing. Here is a picture of them. Aren't they gorgeous? I love surprises. Leah does not like surprises too much. But, I am changing that, heehee.

I am newly married. That's new. I have to say, being married is the best feeling ever. Leah and I have been living together for over a year and I really didn't think things would change for me. I mean, we had made a commitment to each other, wasn't that the same thing? I was so wrong. The planning, the setting up, the getting ready and then seeing Leah for the first time in her dress. Wow! I can't even put words to the feelings I had. She was beyond beautiful. Hearing her words to me and saying my words to her was amazing. It still sends waves of excitement and love through me just thinking about it. I know I didn't say everything I wanted. But, now I have a lifetime to say them to her.

Being married is different. I can't even say how. I just know that I look at her and I am in awe of the amount of feelings I have. When I am near Leah, I have to touch her in some way. It usually is holding her hand. She told me I am the best hand holder (see pic.) I love that. The picture below was taken at the March for Marriage Equality in Albany, NY. The little girl in the photo is my niece, Samantha. Isn't she cute. Leah wrote about the march on her blog. Click here for that post.

Everyday I look at Leah, I know she and I are a part of something that is so essential to being. The common denominator that humans have is that we all look for true love and that one person that can give that to us. It is an innate part of us. We all want someone to share our life and dreams. Fortunately for me, I found that person. Unfortunately for me, some people don't like my choice because I am a woman loving another woman. I have been lucky. I have not expierenced too much hatred or felt that threatened for my being gay. But, when Prop 8 passed and now Ken Starr trying to forcibly divorce us, I feel hatred. I feel threatened. And now, I feel empowered. Keep hating, keep threatening. We are not going away. You can make up laws, you can strip us of our rights, you can do whatever you want but, in the end, we will still be here. And we will continue fighting for each other and our love. I love you, Leah!

For more information on the Freedom to Marry Week, click here.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Courage Campaign

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

If this video does not touch your heart then I don't know what to say. Go to for more information and to sign the letter.

Leah and I are one of the 18,000 couples who got married in California. We are one of the couples that Ken Starr (you remember him, Bill Clinton/blue dress fame) wants the government to invalidate and forcibly divorce. We have our marriage license in hand. Signed and sealed and legal. Leah has legally changed her name. Our state is recognizing our marriage (to a point, don't get me started.) This whole thing saddens me, but, at the same time empowers me to do more and fight for my rights. I am an empowered butch lesbian. Watch out world.

New Traditions

So, in continuing with the Freedom to Marry Week, this is day 2 post. Today, according to The Other Mother, we have to post about something old. Pictured left, is an old picture of Leah and I before we got married. If you notice, we are dressed alike, hahahaha. We were in a phase. No, really, we went to Albany Pride and decided to make shirts about the recent announcement of marriages in California. The backs of the shirts say I love Leah or I love Brenda. We ooze cuteness, aaaawwww.

As for old, we did do that tradition for our wedding. My sisters had all been married before me and so they gave me my something old. It was so great. They gave me a hankie from each of my grandmothers. It was so sweet. Leah's Mom gave her a hankie from her grandmother as well.

What I want to talk about in this post is tradition. The old tradition has to go. This is one of the arguments that we hear to not give us marriage. It's tradition, it's always been done this way. Wake up people! Have we learned nothing about it's always been done this way. It's not always the right way. The tradition of slavery, women as property, institutionalization of developmentally disabled and those with psychiatric dianosis'. The list can go on and on. You can find it in everyday life, as well. At work, those co-workers at staff meetings who don't want to try a new idea because the old one still works okay. "We've always done it this way." "Why fix what ain't broke," is their motto. Well, I am here to say it is broke. Just because it works for you, doesn't mean it works for me. We grow as a person, as a nation, when we change for the better. As we evolve, we change. That is the process. That is the way things work. That is the way we grow.

So, I say, let's start new traditions. And someday, when our children say to us, "that's so old, Mom, no one does it that way anymore," I plan to say to them, "you're right, let's change and make some new traditions." Here's to all the new traditions.

For more information on Freedom to Marry Week click the link below:

Monday, February 9, 2009

Freedom To Marry Week

My wife, Leah, has a blog and follows some other blogs. I saw this on one of those, Tales of A Female Husband. So here is my blog about Marriage Equality.

As you can see, I married the girl of my dreams. We were married in California on 10/25, a couple of weeks before Prop 8 passed. I have posted on my sadness and outrage on this in a previous post so I won't go into that here. I just want to talk about marriage equality and what it means to me.

When Leah and I got married, we wrote our own ceremony. We put in a part about what marriage means to each of us. This was my piece:

Marriage is a way to let the world know, I love this person. It is an awesome feeling and a great responsibility. It is not something to be taken lightly. It means giving of yourself to someone else, trusting in that person and knowing that she is giving of herself and trusting in you, as well. You have to be strong when she can’t and she needs to be strong when you can’t. But, even though it is a great responsibility, it is also about happiness and fun. It is saying to someone else I love being with you and I plan on spending the rest of my life enjoying us. Marriage is an amazing institution and I am so happy to be a part of it. I want that responsibility. I want to be able to say, “this is my wife.” I want to be able to laugh, cry, get mad and know that someone else loves me. And with that, I am marrying the one person who has added to my life a sense of completeness.

See, while we are all fighting for our right to marriage and all the rights that go with it (believe me, I know, over 1,300 in NY alone,) when it comes down to it, marriage is about love. It is about the dream we all have as children, to one day marry the person we love. To walk down that aisle, or be greeted at the end of it. To look into your beloved's eyes with tears of joy. To hold her/his hand and pronounce "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you." And to hear those words, "I now pronounce you....(beloved wives, in our case.)

The rights that come with being married are extra bonuses. Don't get me wrong, I am fighting for those rights as well. I just recently spoke with my state senator's chief of staff all about this and I will post on that next time. But, what I am talking about here is just the real, in our core, reason we all get married. Because we love someone and can't imagine our life without her/him. Marriage is the way we can show that. Marriage is the way everyone in the world knows that. I married my wife because I love her and can't imagine myself without her. Pure and simple. I love you, Leah!